I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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