drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
