I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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