You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
