Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
