Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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