the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Randomize