I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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