We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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