oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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