I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
