I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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