This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
