I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
