I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Randomize
