You can't motorboat a personality
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
