doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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