East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
you made out with another girl for some wings
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
