just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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