so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
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