At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
