just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
