oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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