I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
How does one acquire holy water?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
