I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'm sobbing to NWA
Randomize
