We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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