I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
You are the jesus of drinking
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
