Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
