And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize