she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
