I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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