Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
