Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Will exercising make me less horny?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
