Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
