More tranny stories later!
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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