K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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