My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
