i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
