You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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