Tell her she can't have a vagina
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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