Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
