So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Randomize
