I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
