His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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