The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
