break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
