I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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