Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Randomize
