you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
