dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize