I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Do vagina's smell?
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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