One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
