Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now

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  (313): You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now http://tfl.nu/dcco
  Replies (2) Good night (2496) Bad night (885)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC

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  (304): you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC http://tfl.nu/889w
  Replies (21) Good night (4680) Bad night (708)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.

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  (773): Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes. http://tfl.nu/41f8
  Replies (48) Good night (6040) Bad night (1227)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.

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  (412): im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems. http://tfl.nu/58jb
  Replies (17) Good night (738) Bad night (2684)
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  (760): View more from California

  she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.

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  (760): she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door. http://tfl.nu/tltu
  Replies (24) Good night (1783) Bad night (4121)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better

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  (970): Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better http://tfl.nu/no2g
  Replies (26) Good night (1840) Bad night (4799)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.

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  (912): I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days. http://tfl.nu/3yem
  Replies (18) Good night (7338) Bad night (1274)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.

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  (215): Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea. http://tfl.nu/cv1y
  Replies (13) Good night (2066) Bad night (965)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  When did you hit me on the head with a stool?

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  (416): When did you hit me on the head with a stool? http://tfl.nu/9f4x
  Replies (10) Good night (934) Bad night (1405)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck

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  (773): They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck http://tfl.nu/dsuf
  Replies (8) Good night (2040) Bad night (787)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body

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  (870): I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body http://tfl.nu/2hgi
  Replies (15) Good night (540) Bad night (2151)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.

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  (402): Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right. http://tfl.nu/g2lt
  Replies (20) Good night (4616) Bad night (895)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok

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  (609): I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok http://tfl.nu/nqil
  Replies (4) Good night (274) Bad night (525)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day

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  (613): If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day http://tfl.nu/i6y7
  Replies (0) Good night (359) Bad night (242)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.

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  (757): If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably. http://tfl.nu/joah
  Replies (3) Good night (471) Bad night (281)

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