Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
