dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
