he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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