I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
