Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
