I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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