is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
