Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
