Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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