so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
someone owes me an orgasm
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
