Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
