It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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