You work out of a Hotel?
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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