Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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