Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Randomize
