Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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