just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
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How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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