I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Randomize
