Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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