is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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