Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Randomize
