I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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