she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
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Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
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How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
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