Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
