This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
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