I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Everything about him screamed your future.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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